Without a Doubt That Was You God

I haven’t blogged for a few weeks. One reason being that I have really been struggling through this year anniversary date.When I expose my feelings out there for all to read I am always open and honest. I have often felt like do people really want to know the truth? It’s not always nice and pretty what I'm going thru. Also I have been focusing on writing our book Life of an Angel, and that has been taking up my spare time. So much has happened since I last blogged and I was not sure what topic I wanted to focus on today but I would like to share my ‘without a doubt that’s God’ moment that I had recently.

It was the exact day of the anniversary of Rowyn’s passing. I had not made any plans for the day or obligations because I already knew this was a day I wasn’t going to be up for much. That morning was very hard for me. I had Cody take Wyatt to school and I stayed home. I relived the morning of getting Wyatt ready just the same as I did that dreadful day, I kept looking at the clock waiting for it to say 8:18, the time of the accident. After Cody left I popped in the DVD of Rowyn’s life. I had not seen it since her passing. It was the most beautiful thing to watch. All my memories of her came back fresh and it hurt so much all over again…this is what I’m missing. As painful as it was I watched it again and just sobbed hysterically through it. Most of my day was filled with tears. I was so low, back to a place I thought I already had healed from. Hadn’t I already been through this part of grieving? It doesn’t matter I guess grief has no limits. I was in my room sitting in the rocking chair that I used to rock Rowyn in daily, sobbing hysterically and praying. That’s all I know how to do when I’m in such a dark place. I was praying for comfort, anything to help ease my pain in the slightest bit. God help me now! During my specific prayer the phone rang. “Hi this is so and so from Inside Edition, we would like to do a feature on your story.” In disbelief I ask “Who is this?” I chatted with her for a few minutes but told her today I was not up for interviews. After getting off the phone the craziness of that phone call hadn’t set in yet. I started praying again, this time specifically for Cassie the same prayer as I prayed for me. Within 5 minutes Cassie was calling me. Answering the phone I expected her to be not doing good. She was actually bursting with excitement. “I just got off the phone with DR. Phil’s producer and they want us to go share our story and promote our charity!” I instantly perked up and our excitement after discussing the details had brought me the comfort that I had just asked for.

After I thought of how random and crazy all of this was I knew it was placed in our laps from God himself. The timing was exactly after my specific prayers on the date of the anniversary. I think God waited for that perfect timing knowing that we would need a positive distraction. It was also the last week I would have been able to fly. It’s just amazing how these opportunities get sent to us. We will be sharing our painful story on Dr. Phil but also promoting our faith and our charity on his top watched episode featuring Oprah. Now that’s something I never thought could happen. All I know is it’s all in God’s hands.